Monday, February 21, 2005

what i really ment to say . . .

hey kids . . my weekend was WAY out of it . . i so wanted to just tell Dakota HOW MAD! i was but no i let him know it bothered me but he doesnt even begin to understand HOW MUCH. This seems to be his only downfall other than he doesnt want me to do drugs but he doesnt see that whenever i get depressed or upset is the only time i want to the only time i just need to escape . . but last nite whenever i got to brians i could have got SO fukt but i chose not to and i called him and told him i chose not to and i wanted to see what kinda reaction i got well he was REALLY happy about it . . but i dont want to stop taking drugs just because it makes him happy because i can't handle reality it's just too much sometimes you know? i love that feeling whenever your high ((the one you also get from going over a BIG hill in a car cept it lasts WAY longer )) everything just seems okay whenever your high . . . 1/2 the time whenever i go around him high he doesnt even know it! i dont know . . someone help me . . . and dakota i figure you will eventually read this . . whenever you get the time or something . . . . i'm sorry for the way i am . . .

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