Thursday, February 24, 2005

i try to be perfect but nothing was worth it . . .

well i said that i would write more it took me till today cause i think my head is about to explode which is horrible . . i dont know where i left off other than he is sooo fricking wonderfull which is most likely a understatment . . . we talked about ALOT last nite, what we want in life . . . where we are gonna go . . I know it might be irrational but i get REALLY upset whenever he says he's moving to Japan because i really like this kid . . . but lets think about it YEAH i want to be with him for a LONG time and i can see us being together for a long time . . BUT for ever is VERY irrational to think about and i mean i dont know . . . he is awesome but how could anyone want to just UP and move away from everything they know and understand and YEAH Japan is BEAUTIFUL an very amazing but i dont know Japanese and i wouldnt want to move there cause i dont want to go somewhere and mess up on something or do something wrong and disgrace myself or make people there hate me too . . i dont need anyone else . . . i dont know maybe thats irrational to think that way maybe they would be understanding . . maybe not tho . . . an they are WAY behind in fashion and not to sound like OMG OMG . . . but i would have to come here and buy clothes and such because i just couldnt wear stuff like they do . . . i dont know . . . i REALLY REALLY like Dakota tho . . . that boy is just something so awesome . . . i dont know . . . ON another sub i talked to megan and dereck last nite and Dereck appoligized to me for being REALLY mean to me about Dakota and such and Megan talked to me and was all like i hope you are happy with him as long as your happy im not mad . . which makes me SO happy . . yea megan MIGHT not be a GREAT or AWESOME friend shes still one of mine . . maybe i'm too nice or something but yea . . i dont know . . i'm gonna go try and get my MySpace to work now . . LATER KIDS!

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